New Format

 

Dear Friends:

As we age, we all slow down a certain bit—what with normal wear and tear, disease, and accident.  Well, I’ve been laid up with a repaired umbilical hernia and several diseases and degenerations and other things you don’t want to know about.  Consequently, my energy has led to reduced writing efforts.

As a result, I’m combining all my blogs into one.  So, political, personal, and literary blog entries will all appear on the same blog.  I will combine them all on the Notes for Ramey site:  http://notesforramey.blogspot.com/   I will also be adding a few older entries that you may have missed.  This blog will be a real find for you now.  Please visit as often as you can.  Tell your friends!  Subscribe!  Comment!  Send me emails!  tnmccoy63@comcast.net   I’ll have it going within the week after I chase all the nurses away.

Thanks to all:  TNM

Carmina and the Vonage Commercial

*So many commercials and movies today are using Carl Orff’s music ‘Carmina Burana’ these days, that one would assume it’s modern.  It isn’t.  According to Wikipedia:  “Carmina Burana…, Latin for ‘Songs from Beuern’ …, is the name given to a manuscript of 254 poems and dramatic texts from the 11th or 12th century, although some are from the 13th century. The pieces were written almost entirely in Medieval Latin; a few in Middle High German, and some with traces of Old French or Provençal. Many are macaronic, a mixture of Latin and German or French vernacular…Between 1935 and 1936, German composer Carl Orff set 24 of the poems to new music, also called Carmina Burana.”  — From my study of other sources, I know this to be correct. This music, complete with eerie voices, is what has been used in numerous commercials and movies where they want a grand or eerily majestic aura around their words.  Selections from the Carmina Burana include: O FORTUNA [Oh Fortune]; FORTUNAE PLANGO VULNERA [I Mourn the Blows of Fortune]; VERIS LAETA FACIES [A Spring Song]; and OMNIA SOL TEMPERATA [the Sun Pure and Gentle]; among others.  Enjoy!

*I must be losing my hearing.  The other day, in watching a commercial on TV, I thought I heard “Hi!  I’m a T-Mobile Orgy!”  After several times watching the commercial, I realized that the statement was “Hi!  I’m a T-Mobile 4G.”  I always thought my hearing was pretty good until a few years ago when I heard a commercial with music “…I believe in mail call…”  Later I found out it was “I believe in miracles.”  Modern musicians and advertisers pick lousy spokesmen.  They elide too much, and they mispronounce words all over the place.  And this is progress?

*Speaking of ads.  I saw one hilarious effort from France  about Perrier.  It shows a pair of woman’s hands caressing a small bottle of Perrier.  While she continues this, the bottle morphs into a liter bottle.  There’s more, but not for this blog.  You have to see it for yourself.  It’s on You Tube, just check for French Perrier commercials and watch Culture Pub’s Best Water Commercials.  It’s at the end.  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iWqtWRL5Hm8&feature=fvst

*And finally, I sent an email to Vonage [which didn't get an answer] about one of it’s new commercials.  I told vonage that ‘Sucker Shmala’ may be a good Indian or Pakistani name to show their World-Wide diversity, but it wasn’t a good idea in the states for a commercial.  It makes you think of ‘small sucker’, not a confidence inspiring moniker.  Well, as I said, Vonage didn’t answer me or hire me to write Vonage commercials, but the commercial noted in my email was taken off the tube and replaced with one with a less International flavor in the names.  I wonder how many heads rolled due to my simple email?

*Is it just me, or does Paul McCartney look like an old woman?  I mean I liked the Beatles when I was growing up, and the four of them looked okay back in the ’60s.  But he seems now to be an aging granny.  Sad to see.  I wonder if great wealth and renown make you look like that?

*It’s a sign of aging when I see a film I never heard of, with a cast of people unknown to me, and cameos of people I never heard of.  And the movie was absolutely terrible, yet it was given so great a build-up by the station that you’d think it was an Oscar winner.

*Back on May 22 [the day after the end of the World], Baseball Hall of Famer Gary Carter announced that his MRI a day or two previously  indicated three brain tumors.  He’ll have another [MRI] later this week.  I sympathize with Gary and wish him well.  Let’s hope they’re benign and non-growing.  He then stated that he wanted privacy while he determined the extent of the tumors with his doctors and family.  Well, if he wants privacy, why did he make the announcement?  It’s not like the ferreting press was going to find out about it soon.  He’s long retired, and he wasn’t a superstar.  Privacy means you keep your trap shut.  He could have done that.  Consequently, I don’t think he wants privacy.  He wants the World to know and sympathize with him.

Only the Names Were Changed to Protect the Unknown

I’ve found a fascinating diversion in Genealogy.  I started off with the simple premise of finding my Family Tree back to the 19th century or a little earlier, if possible.  But I got carried away.  Following certain branches of the family, I’ve visited fourteenth century Italy [through France], fifteenth century Sweden, tenth century France, and eleventh century England—pretty much branching out all over the place.  And all this background comes from three members of the family.  They form gateways, so to speak.  And what gateways!  Royalty, nobility, and known scientists and thinkers.  But then, if my family had normal antecedents, I wouldn’t have so much information to find.  I couldn’t go back too far directly in Italy or Ireland because of the information sources petered out.  Besides, I’ve discovered that any data earlier than the 19th century are often questionable or confusing.  I found early age marriages of course.  And young deaths.  These were from the middle ages when the life expectancy wasn’t so great.

But you must be careful about dead ends.  It was popular in the first part of the 2nd millennium among the nobility to trace their Family Trees back to the beginning of mankind.  Thus I found one branch tracing back via Popes and Saints and Apostles and gods and goddesses to Adam and Eve—no dates of course.  So, watch yourself.

My grandparents, 1913

And I came across marriages between people far different in ages—with children!  On recorded father was only 14!

That might be believable, but a mother aged 7?  I think I’ll doubt that one.  I found at least one instance where the child was born before the parents!  I’ll doubt that one too.  But it’s all a good lesson in people and history.  I suggest you try it as well.  Most of my sources were free, with the notable exception of Ancestry.com.  But I only pay for the latter month by month as I need it.  It’s surprising how much information is available for free on the web.  But you have to think about it as you find it.  Other amateur genealogists are often wrong or confusing, and sources vary in their accuracy.  Some intelligent guesswork is necessary, but the whole process is still intriguing.  I’m pretty sure my tree is substantially correct.  But I rely on other people—I can’t use original documents because I can’t pay to do so, and I can’t read most foreign languages.

I figure that in my whole body, I might have a nanogram or two of royal blood.  Maybe I should appoint myself a Knight [Knight Owl?] and have people call me Sir all the time:  Yes Sir!  What can I do for you Sir?—After all, I was called Sir in the Navy!  [I was called a number of other things too, but that's beside the point.]
I’ve always thought of the name ‘Bertha’ as an old fashioned one, especially since I never found anyone young with the moniker.  But I found a few in my Tree.  ‘Bertha’ is variously pronounced ‘Ber-ta’ and ‘Bur-tha.’  Per Behindthename.com,  Bertha was “Originally a short form of Germanic names beginning with the element ‘beraht’ meaning “bright, famous”. It was borne by the mother of Charlemagne in the 8th century, and it was popularized in England by the Normans. It died out as an English name after the Middle Ages, but was revived in the 19th century. The name also appears in southern Germanic legends (often spelled Perchta or Berchta) belonging to a goddess of animals and weaving.

One of the other interesting ancestor names is Massy Roads, though I could find out nothing except her name, her husband, and her date of marriage.  Picot de Saye was there as well.  He was the son of Robert FitzPicot and married Adeloia.  Then I delved further and came up with Manasses de Ghesnes.

‘Manasses’:  “Masculine – Usage: Biblical (Variant), Biblical Latin, Biblical Greek – Other Scripts: Μανασσης (Ancient Greek)”  From Behindthename.com:  “Other Scripts: מְנַשֶּׁה (Ancient Hebrew) – Pronounced: mə-NAS-ə (English)  [key] – Means “causing to forget” in Hebrew. In the Old Testament this was the name of the oldest son of Joseph and the ancestor of one of the twelve tribes of Israel.”
In any case, I haven’t come across anyone with that name in my lifetime.  My Manasses de Ghesnes was married to Emme de Arques.  As is often the case with female spouses, I have no other information about her.
Other interesting names I came across were Gerberge de Bourgogne [who was not a trash collector]; Fulbert of Falaise who married Doda of Falaise, and who had a daughter named Herleva de Falais; Tostig of Gonwidson; Cunigunde of Altdorf; and Poppa de Envermeu—but no John Smith.

Such is from the efforts of the genealogist.  I urge you to work on your own Family tree.  You’ll never be bored, and it can keep you busy for many hours and days at a time.  Even if—like me—many members of the family just aren’t interested in it, there will be enough to make the job worthwhile.

The Atlas Coffee and Bean Company’s Untold True Story

*Opening soon is the movie ‘Atlas Shrugged Part I’ from the novel of Ayn Rand.  I probably won’t get to see it in a theater, but I look hopefully to an early television/cable showing.  The story is just as pertinent now as it was in 1952 when the book was published.  The book itself is rather lengthy, so the producers expect to make three parts of the movie story.  Although I believe much of the objectivism of Ayn Rand, I don’t agree with her religious views.  She’s an atheist.  And I can’t understand people who take the atheistic view of life.  It’s so sad and dreary.  And it offers no real hope for anything.  Might as well be a rock on the ground.

*A Vonage commercial includes a, supposedly, real customer to spout praises for its Internet phone service.  But do you think identifying these people is a good idea?  The first one says his name is Sucker Shmalla.  That’s probably a fine Indian name, but proudly declaring you are Sucker [and a small one at that] doesn’t do Mr Shmalla or Vonage much good, does it?  Don’t the advertisers check these things out before using them?

*Why it’s not a good idea for judges to become humorously creative.  –  “A lawyer defending a man accused of burglary tried this creative defense: ‘My client merely inserted his arm into the window and removed a few trifling articles. His arm is not himself, and I fail to see how you can punish the whole individual for an offense committed by his limb.’ ‘Well put,’ the judge replied. ‘Using your logic, I sentence the defendant’s arm to one year’s imprisonment. He can accompany it or not, as he chooses.’ The defendant smiled. With his lawyer’s assistance he detached his artificial limb, laid it on the bench, and walked out.” [GetAmused.com] –  Usually it’s the criminal who acts stupidly, isn’t it?

*More from GetAmused.com – “Steven Richard King was arrested for trying to hold up a Bank of America branch without a weapon. King used a thumb and a finger to simulate a gun, but unfortunately, he failed to keep his hand in his pocket. — In Redondo Beach, Calif., a police officer arrested a driver after a short chase and charged him with drunk driving. Officer Joseph Fonteno’s suspicions were aroused when he saw the white Mazda MX-7 rolling down Pacific Coast Highway with half of a traffic-light pole, including the lights, lying across its hood. The driver had hit the pole on a median strip and simply kept driving. According to Fonteno, when the driver was asked about the pole, he said, ‘It came with the car when I bought it.’” — You can tell what I was reading this afternoon.

*A Lyrica ad has a women declaring that she just found out that we have nerves connecting with the brain and sending pain signals.  Huh?  Doesn’t every first grader know that?  Just how dumb do these advertisers think the average American is?  I’d fire that ad firm post haste if I was Lyrica.

*it just occurred to me.  Questions and answers on ‘Family Feud’ are supposedly based on ‘nationwide surveys.’  Any of you souls out there ever participated in these surveys?  I know I haven’t.  I don’t know anyone who has.  So, I wonder whether they ever occurred.  Or were they made up?

*Speaking of coffee [we were?], 90% of coffee around older Western movies and television shows seems to spontaneously generate on the set.  We rarely see anyone making it.  But it always seems to be there.  Another thing, while we’re at it.  Dry beans require at least a day soaking in water before being cooked.  Of course, you can also pre-boil them to get them tender, but even that takes three or four hours.  I can almost see that happening with a chuck wagon cook, but not the cowboy on the trail.  There are always beans available to have with his meat and bread.  Bread?  Another anomaly.

*’The Conspirator’ in the movies is said to be based on an untold true story.  Eh?  The Civil War has been over 146 years, and no one ever heard the story?  Sorry, I don’t buy it.  Nobody can keep a secret for 146 years only to reveal it in 2011 for a movie.  Many people can’t keep a secret for more than an hour without spilling the beans.  This ‘untold true story’ had to have been related in a bar scene some place, at some time.  Many bartenders have some very tricky secrets under their vests.  We find out about them after bartenders’ conventions.

*Why do so many people in the movies give up so quickly when they have a gun pulled on them, especially by a known killer?  I recognize the unpreventable panic, but in most cases they’re going to be killed anyway; so why not give it a last try to forestall it?  Another happening in the movies is the chase.  Whether it’s a monster, an animal, or the bad guys, the chasee always runs in a straight line.  Why?  Usually, there’re woods or houses or somethings to the left or right.  He/She can go there.  This is especially advisable when being chased by someone in a plane or car.  Why get run down.  Now I know that Cary Grant had to go in a straight line.  There was nowhere else to go on the flat and bare area surrounding him—though in his case, I would have run toward the plane.  [But then it wouldn't be cinematic history, n'est pas?]

But if you zig and zag and go at right angles, it seems to me that you’d have a better chance of survival.  And for crying out loud, don’t stop and look behind you.  You know there’s someone[s] chasing you.  Turning around just lets them close the gap some more.

So, run like hell, don’t keep looking behind you, and run into the woods if necessary.  In keeping with W C Fields, don’t give the sucker [pursuer] an even break.

Great Caesar’s Ghost oh Astronomer!

* All my life, I thought Superman boss, editor Perry White, had originality with his constant plaint “Great Caesar’s Ghost!”  I now know better.  The term comes from the title of a Newspaper comic strip ‘Great Caesar’s Ghost!..and Great Caesar’s Goat’ by A E Hayward back in the 1910s.  It consisted of a comic Julius Caesar living in Rome [by name only; the city had a mix of Roman buildings and modern structures, complete with lamps etc...] and getting his daily lumps from 1910 life and wife.

Julius wears modern clothes over his obvious toga.  Some other characters are dressed the same way, and some are in modern [1910] clothes.  Anachronisms abound, such as a cigars, watches, alarm clocks, glass windows, mirrors, cuckoo clocks, glass fish bowls, telephones, seltzer bottles, etc…  In one Sunday panel, a well dressed little guy comes into Julius’s throne room.  He claims to represent the ‘Rome Law and Order Society’ led by Antony Comstockus.  They have some ‘requirements.’  Among other things, they want “…Our chief, Antony Comstockus, says as how you got to drape all the statues on the Boulevards…the legs of the all dining tables must be covered and…”  Julius is aghast.  His reply [while jumping up and down] to this:  “…What?  Dictate to me?  Who’s runnin’ Rome!”

Not only is Superman’s Perry White unoriginal, but the grappling fingers of pc-ism in 1910 Comic-land is quite apparent.  It’s also very funny.

*Those TV ads are still trying to trick you into buying ersatz gold coins.  The latest is an ersatz nickel that is design-based on a 99% gold larger denomination real coin—which the ad praises for considerable time as if it’s the perfect coin.  But this copy only has 14 milligrams of gold.  As you’ll remember from my prior entries, that isn’t very much.  Thus, the advertised 14milligrams is only worth 63 cents [based on $1,400 per troy ounce of gold.]  So, for $9.95, you get an unusable plug nickel with 63 cents of gold on it in a very thin layer.  And the ad has the effrontery to claim the price can only be guaranteed for 7 days.  One order per customer.  [The ad has been spouting that for months---with the same price.]  Even Vince’s ‘Sham Wow’ is a better deal.

*Noted during last August:  I  heard recently the beginning of the NASCAR Martinsville Race.  It began with a spiritual invocation, and it led to the recitation of the Pledge of Allegiance by a group of school kids.  The kids then went on to sing the National Anthem—correctly, by the way.  Most professionals don’t know the words, the song, or the meaning.  They’re mostly neck singers anyway [instead of singing from the gut and diaphragm], and they’re just at the race with the hope of sparking their professional careers and putting their own vocal spins on the Anthem.  While it’s deplorable having some of those ‘celebs’ out there ‘singing’, it’s too bad no other sport allows normal American expression from regular people.  They all seem to be worried about ACLU and Liberal critics.  So much for freedom of speech.  I would expect NASCAR has some financial interest in these singers trying to sing.

As an update, I heard another Grammy winner sing the National Anthem today [3/27/11] before the Race in Fontana CA.  He did a terrible job.  His voice is weak, and without amplification and a lot of noise accompanying him [everyone sings a Cappella], he can’t hack it.   And people buy records from Amazon starring this guy?

*In today’s game [3/24/11] between the LA Dodgers and Colorado Rockies, I make note of the Rockies pitcher, Michael Marbry.  Firstly, he’s obscenely young from my point of view.  [He was born in 1984.]  Arggh!  I was getting old even back then.  Secondly, he has an earned run average this year of 135!  Today, he allowed five runs in 1/3 of an inning.  Don’t get me wrong.  I like all this.  I’ve been a Dodger fan all my life.  Today, the Dodgers were behind 5 to 0 in the bottom of the ninth inning with only their last three outs to work with.  They proceeded to score seven runs and win the game.  As Kermit would say with mouth and body language, “Yeaaaaaa!  Yeaaaaaa!”

*Per the AP in December in an article entitled:  Scientists Find 200 Sextillion More Stars in the Sky

“A study suggests the universe could have triple the number of stars scientists previously calculated…The study questions a key assumption that astronomers often use: that most galaxies have the same properties as our Milky Way. And that’s creating a bit of a stink among astronomers who want a more orderly cosmos…The study that offers the new estimate on stars is led by a Yale University astronomer.” [Pieter van Dokkum]  [The prior estimate was 100 sextillion; the new one is 300 sextillion]

“‘For the past month, astronomers have been buzzing about van Dokkum’s findings, and many aren’t too happy about it’, said astronomer Richard Ellis of the California Institute of Technology…Van Dokkum’s paper challenges the assumption of “a more orderly universe” and gives credence to ‘the idea that the universe is more complicated than we think,’ Ellis said. ‘It’s a little alarmist.’”

Tell me the truth, now.  Do you know how much 100 sextillion is?  Or 300 sextillion?  The latter is a 3 followed by 23 zeroes.  Does it make a difference to you how many stars there are from these poor estimates?  What if the estimate is off by a few tens of sextillions?  Are you alarmed at these numbers?  Want to count the stars in the observable Universe?  After all, no one knows how big the Universe is, so these estimates are all done with smoke and mirrors—rather like weather forecasting.  How simple do you want the Universe to be?  Is this what astronomy has come to?  Counting stars with varying assumptions and then arguing about them?  Why don’t they do something useful like estimating or counting the number of baseballs used by all the Major League Baseball teams for an entire year?  Or how much mud is used to rub them?

And why is the larger number of stars classified by Ellis as ‘alarming.’  Does he expect a few sextillion UFOS to arrive from all the possible planets among the additional stars?  Is he privy to the real size of the Universe?  Or does he just enjoy being contrary?  I remember the arguments in the past between those promoting the Big Bang theory and those promoting the steady state theory [constant creation of matter from nothing in space.]  Big Bang finally won out, but the steady state guys are still trying to promote it under certain circumstances.  You’ve got to admire their tenacity—just like those members of the Flat Earth Society.

As for me?  Well, the number of stars in the Universe is not as important as the number of asteroids and meteors on collision courses with the Earth or Moon.  Those frighten me more than a few sextillion UFOs.

The Chickens, the Crazy Words, and the Scientists

* Burger King is promoting a ‘buy one and get one free’ deal on one of its chicken sandwiches.  The ad doesn’t say, but is there an extra processing and handling fee for the doubling?  There is on all those TV commercials that double your order:  Start whisper – “Just pay separate processing.” – End whisper.  Some say there’s no such thing as a free lunch, but Burger King comes close with this deal.

* Notice the State Farm commercial with the smarmy salesman planted in front of a news stand?  Try reading some of the magazine titles.  You can’t.  Most of the titles are covered or have a generic title like ‘Women.’  You can’t read titles on most others because they’re all defaced with decorations.  Apparently, State Farm is afraid to show real magazines lest it be sued for unapproved use or else it doesn’t want to provide free advertising.  All this from the Insurance Company that wants to ‘tell it straight.’

* I have a problem about those ‘animal adoption’ or ‘saving’ commercials with the tear jerking music and overrated celebrity begging you for help.  These words and posed pictures could easily be applied to little babies, born and unborn.  But where are they?  Doesn’t a figure of 10 million abortions and hundreds of thousands of child abuse cases mean anything each year?  I suggest these TV waylaid humans spend their energy on their own species in preference to pets.  If they did, our cultural life will suddenly gain new meaning and show some life of its own.  I’m all for treating animals properly and with love, but I’m also for treating human life the same way—wait, such treatment should be better.  One precious human life is worth more than a million pets.

*Be prepared to run when you hear these phrases.  They augur danger and their purpose is to separate you from your money:  ‘Hello!  I’m from the government, and I’m here to help you.’ – ‘But wait, we’ll double your offer for free.  Just pay separate shipping and processing.’ – ‘For a limited time only.’ – ‘Call in the next five minutes and …..’ – ‘Special offer for the next 24 hours only.’ – ‘A $200 value, all yours for $10.’ – ‘A collector’s edition. – ‘A Limited edition.’ – ‘You don’t have to do anything.  Just take our pill and your fat will simply melt away.’ – ‘Original price set at $49.95.  Now yours for $19.95.  Clad with 15mg of pure gold.’ [about 66 cents at today's price] [or 50mg, about $2.20 at today's price]

*I keep hearing self-professed thinkers and our scientific community about the possibility of another life in the Universe.  For most of them, it’s the claim that the Universe is so large, there must be other life.  How can life form on a tiny planet around an insignificant sun in a far corner of the Universe and be the home of the only intelligent life in our Galaxy?  Such is life.  Billions of dollars are spent looking for alien life throughout the portion of Universe we can reach; signals are sent; ears are kept open.   Eyes search for signs; infrared and xray astronomy look as well.  Millions more dollars are spent dealing with UFO claims.  People clamor to find an alien explanation for the Bermuda Triangle, the Egyptian Pyramids, the Aztec Pyramids.  Books are written about the mysterious goings-on around the World.

And from it all comes—nothing!  There’s no proof anywhere or in any way that another intelligent life exists in the Universe!  Nothing but imagination.  We may not be perfect, but I think we’re unique.

*Scientists today, as shown on the Science Channel all the time, are trying their best to explain life, the Big Bang and other astronomical and biological miracles in terms of chance encounters, physical interactions, and time.  They notably leave out God in all their discussions.  I believe that the entire span of life of the Universe was decided by God before He created the Big Bang.  Everything that happened after that was guided by God’s created physics, chemistry, biology, astronomy, etc.  Creating and giving mankind the freedom of will and action, however, was a deviation from the original plan.  He wanted us to be free to do what we wanted and develop the faith to believe in Him and His works.  I’ve been reading books and articles on astronomy, physics, chemistry, sociology, biology,religion and numerous other areas for fifty years.  And my faith is still strong.  Mankind has deviated from what could have been for happiness and security for all, and he has divided his thoughts and actions between good and evil.  We still suffer from the evil part.  When the scientists finally admit that God was the prime mover in creation, they’ll probably work on trying to discover who or what created God.

*Honda is showing some mysterious commercials.  It claims that it’s new Accord is the longest lasting car in it’s class.  What?  This is a new car.  How could they determine longevity?  Another dimension?  They also claim it has the best resale value in it’s class.  What again?  This is a new car.  Are their dealers selling them as used already?  Do other makes of cars do the same thing?

CHRISTMAS SONG

Though this is over 100 years old, I like in this
modern World. May all my readers have a
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year

–T N McCoy

Why do bells for Christmas Ring?
Why do little children sing?
Once a lovely, shining star,
Seen by shepherds from afar,
Gently moved until its light
Made a manger-cradle bright.
There a darling baby lay
Pillowed soft upon the hay.
And his mother sang and smiled,
“This is Christ, the holy child.”
So the bells for Christmas ring,
So the little children sing.

– Lydia A C Ward c1907

And then I came across this strange combination:

***

SPECIAL NEWS ITEM

Extra…Extra…Extra…Extra…Extra…Extra…Extra

New Haven, CT…December 19, 2010…Unsigned

…Begin

Poets Henry Wadsworth Longfellow and Steven P. Turi today published their first collaborative effort, Christmas 2010, amidst mixed shock and threats.

“How rare indeed,” mused a renowned literary critic found fishing at a local watering hole. “Such an effort fascinates the imagination and attests to the concept of concise circumlocution with charming meet her…err…—especially from that new fellow, Turi. Beertender! Pease mix me for another dree martiny!”

Mr. Turi was on the floor by his computer stack looking for a transmission, but we did listen to the lengthy message on his rarely used answering machine. Mr. Longfellow, on the other hand, has been dead for the past hundred and twenty-eight years.

Copies of Christmas 2010 were fortunately limited in number and are no longer available. Consequently, this news item has not been written or released—and therefore does not exist.

…End

CHRISTMAS 2010

By Steven P. Turi and Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Introduction: by the New Fellow

My Christmas now as Christmas then
Is filled with color bright of hue.
But all my green be numbers low,
Hence humble words result for you.

Two poets, though far their years apart,
Join palettes brushing words of taste,
To speak of past or now to be,
Brought forth in peace and hope encased.

Christmas Bells by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

I heard the bells on Christmas Day
Their old, familiar carols play.
And wild and sweet
The words repeat
Of peace on Earth, good will to men!

And thought how, as the day had come,
The belfries of all Christendom
Had rolled along
The unbroken song
Of peace on Earth, good will to men!

Till, ringing, swinging on its way,
The World revolved from night to day
A voice, a chime,

A chant sublime
Of peace on Earth, good will to men!

Then from each black, accursed mouth
The cannon thundered in the South
And with the sound
The carols drowned
Of peace on Earth, good will to men.

It was as if an earthquake rent
The hearthstones of a continent,
And made forlorn
The households born
Of peace on Earth, good will to men!

And I despair I bowed my head:
“There is no peace on Earth,” I said.
“For hate is strong
And mocks the song
Of peace on Earth, good will to men!”

Then peeled the bells more loud and deep,
“God is not dead; nor doth He sleep”
The Wrong shall fail,
The Right prevail,
With peace on Earth, good will to men!

Postscript by the New Fellow again

Alas! I mourn this year of scanty fare
Which brought no sign nor proof of wealth.
Yet, heart still beats the meter strong
To wish long life, peace, hope, good health.

Merry Christmas to you with whom I share
Email and voice, rare use of pen.
To join the he and she we are
For peace on Earth, good will to men!

The real end.

Easy Feet and the Fushigi Ball

These are the days that try our souls, for we’re torn between the commercial and the religious aspects of Christmas.  I’m not going to give a dissertation on the religious meanings here, but I can tackle some strange ‘deals’ in the market place.

*First though, I’ll make a casting call.  I think a movie producer [probably MGM] should quickly sign Connie Talbot or Jackie Evancho for a remake of the Wizard of Oz—since they’re closer in age to the storybook Dorothy.  And let’s hope they’ll make more movies of the same type.  To go further, let’s also hope they keep there heads about them and don’t turn into more Lindsay Lohans.  And when they grow up, we don’t need more stars who want to shed their ‘good girl’ images and pose nude to make them acceptable to the Hollywood community.

*It’s the mad mad mad mad Christmas buying season again.  And the advertisers are on TV in force.  My ears are getting tired from the bombastic claims of these guys.  As a public service, then, I’ll share some thoughts on advertising with you.  These admen are overselling products at high prices.  So, be careful with what you buy.  Do you really need two of an item?  It’ll cost you.  These two-for-one deals are tricky, especially since you have to go searching for the actual shipping and handling [processing] fees.  And I wish you’d have the opportunity to reject the second, doubling offer.

*’Get Easy Feet.’  Only $14.99!  [Plus S/H $7.99.]   And get another for only the handling fee [$7.99]  Actually, they call it a ‘processing’ fee when advertising.  So, your purchase of two ‘Easy Feet’ will cost $30.97 [plus applicable tax.]  Well now, the foot object may do a cleaning job if you’re really lazy—though it only cleans the bottom with any assurance.  But notice the advertisement, where the women is constantly pouring some liquid soap on the foot piece for cleaning?  By the time the shower is over, you’ve used up half a bottle of the stuff.  So, add that cost to your foot cleaning.  Another thing is that the ‘Easy Feet’ people say it will attach to the tub bottom just like other anti-skid items for the tub.  But, modern tubs and shower already have that sort of thing built into them.  So how are the feet supposed to attach?  These are good only for the older tubs and showers.  But then, they’ll probably slide like the anti-skid feet you can buy at most stores making a foot cleaning hazard at best.

My suggestion is to buy a bathtub brush for $1.99, and use it to clean your feet.  You can stand up and lean on the wall, thus minimize your leg bending.  And the versatile brush allows you to wash the sides and tops of your feet as well. And you can continue using your soap in bars or on strings or what have you.  They’ll soap up your brush nice and easy.

*’Fushigi Ball’ goes for $19.99.  The company doesn’t double the order, but it does send you a DVD with examples of how to use the ball.  [Just pay the processing.]  Total cost for the mandatory package?  $19.99 + $6.99 + $6.99 = $33.97.  While the ball appears fascinating, I’m not sure the cost is.  Why isn’t the DVD included with the ball automatically.  That extra $6.99 is unnecessary.

*’Total Pillow’ asks for $19.99.  Shipping and Handling? $7.95 Total cost for the mandatory package of two pillows?  $19.99 + $7.95 + $7.95 = $35.89.  Pleasant sleeping.  At least it’s better than the Ancient Egyptian stone head rest for sleeping.

‘My Free Smoothie’ is an interesting offer.  ‘Feed your body right!’ ‘The weight falls right off!’  You get two flavors for your 21 day free trial.  But you can only open one container.  The other can be opened only after you purchase the products—including the one in the free offer.  If your tempted [and that's why it was sent to you], you might sample the second one.  And then you can’t return it.  You bought everything!  Go to rightsizeonline.com to see what the nutrition is, though you still aren’t told whether the mix goes with milk or water.  Individually, the mixes go for about $55—or buy a case for $464!  Or you can buy thirty bottles of flavored water for $42 [$1.40 each]  Your choice!

You know, it’s not like you can go down to the corner store and buy these things for $1 or $2 as you want them.  But for those of you attracted to Jennie Craig or one of the other organizations of weight loss heaven, the Free Smoothie totals above compare closely to the usual $300 to $400 you have to shell out for them—though you don’t get food only smoothies.

Here it is in their own words at the bottom of the web page:

Legal Disclaimer:
Terms of 21 day trial: Please read terms and conditions for complete details. Your 21 day trial starts at delivery. The two cans you select represents a full order. One can is to open and try as often as you like for 21 days. The other can is to remain sealed until you are satisfied with the product. If we do not hear from you by the end of the 21 day trial period, we will complete your order for $119.80 using todays payment method. If you wish to cancel the trial call 1-888-xxx-xxxx for a return authorization code to return the sealed can. You are free to keep your trial can with our thanks for trying RightSize. Shipping and handling is non-refundable and product returns are at customer expense.

I have no idea whether or not this stuff helps you to lose weight, but I judge advertisers and their products by what they hide and don’t tell me.

*’Depilsilk’ depilatory; spray no size indicated, facial pen; cotton towel; bathrobe; hair cap — no sizes given for anything.
$10 = 6.99 + 6.99 = 23.98 plus $3 for Canada = $26.98  less $5 if you order online.  Hair today, gone tomorrow.  [Sorry.  I just had to get that in this paragraph!]

Or you could buy products like these: VEET online: supreme essence; easy spray; hair removal cream; 5.1 oz; $7.99; EPYLLIS depilatory gel; 16oz; $18.99; NAIR; 6.1 oz; pomegranate; lotion; $7.99; SPRING ESSENCE; 5.4oz;$7.99; gel cream; SPRING ESSENCE; 9oz;cocoa buffer;$5.79.

*’Cami Secret’, a type of camisole; 6 pieces; light weight breathable fabric [what kind of fabric is that?]  $10. + $6.99 + $6.99 + $2.99 for some states and territories; total $23.98 to $26.97.  I’m not totally familiar with the problem these things solve, so you’ll have to decide this one.  The website mentions a camisole—an item worn underneath a sheer bodice to conceal the underwear; a straight jacket with long sleeves.  They may do the job, but you should know the cost.

*’The Little Red Chef’ is selling for $10, maybe.  Add two s/h of $6.95, and you have a total of $23.90.  On TV it seems to work, but if it’s so great, why would a cook need two of them?  Besides, I would expect one or two turns around the chop container would give me carpal tunnel syndrome.  I find a chopping block with a good knife and a mini food processor do the jobs well and are more satisfying.  The knife and block have been around forever, and the processor cost me about $10.

*’Yoshei Blade’ is a ceramic knife for $19.99.  But your shipping is $9.99 and $6.99, or $36.97 plus $3 if you’re in Canada.  Although not very clear in the ads, the blade is about 5″ long, the same as a boning knife—only you can’t use a ceramic blade for boning.  It’s too brittle.

Ceramic knives are interesting.  They are hard, sharp, and they stay sharp for a long time. They are lightweight and don’t give food a taste.  [Though I've never had that problem with metal knives.]  They are brittle, and if struck with or on hard objects, they’ll break.  [Don't drop them on the floor!]  They have to be handled very carefully and with a special type of sharpener when they lose their edges.  If they have plastic handles [as is most likely in this offer], they won’t last as long as wooden ones.  Plastic is cheaper as well.

I’d rather pick one good, wooden-handled ceramic knife from a reputable kitchen store with my $37.

*My baby can read, so how about yours?  ‘Your Baby Can Read’ too?  Just pay $14.95 for a 30 day risk-free trial.  Free shipping and handling.  It’s hard to find, but the total cost of the program is $199.95.  Per the small print “Upon shipment [of your risk-free trial] [note that it's not a free trial], your credit card account will be charged $199.95 plus tax.  If you are not completely satisfied within 30 days of receipt, contact our customer service at 888-xxx-xxxx to arrange for a return authentication and a refund.  Your return must be post-marked within 7 days of receiving return authorization…Processing and return shipping charges are non-refundable.”

So friends, make sure you have a lot more credit on your credit card than $14.95 for your “risk-free” trial.

I don’t know about all this.  My parents taught me to read before I went to school and quizzed me occasionally about what was in the local newspapers.  It didn’t cost them anything.  But, I think toddlers should be let alone to toddle.  We take too much away from childhood as it is.  Give them a break.

*’Park Bills’ provide you two $2 bills with printed, color details on them, one of the Grand Canyon and the other of Yellowstone National Park.  For this, you’ll be charged $21.95.  Imagine that?  Take some $2 bills, run them through an overprinter, and charge the public $11 for each one.  That’s some deal.  If you want pictures of the Grand Canyon and the Yellowstone National Park, you can find some great ones on the Internet.  You can buy $2 bills at the bank for $2 each.  You’ll have fewer problems if you need to spend them.

Remember, whenever an offer includes a free doubling, don’t believe it; you’re going to pay for it.  The ubiquitous ‘shipping and handling’ or ‘processing fee’ are simply going to pay for the item.  I mean, how much trouble is it to take an item off the shelf and throw it in a box with packing material?  I’ve seen these fees range from $6.95 to $11.80—the latter fee for a bottle of pills.  Merry and Careful Christmas!

Sweet Ad-of-Mine!

*If ITT Tech is so great, why does its ads include the statement that school ‘credits are unlikely to transfer.’  To a regular college that is.  If they can’t transfer to a run-of-the-mill college, what good are they?  And what respect can graduates expect to find in real life?  What should be better taught to high school students is the importance of a college degree—and from a school whose credits CAN transfer if necessary.

*It isn’t enough that modern toilets have flushes with too little water, but now Scott is advertising that their free items will reduce the use of water each time the toilet is used.  Great.  Pretty soon, somebody will be espousing the use of only three squares of toilet paper per visit—wait!  Hasn’t Sheryl Crowe already suggested that?  Does she practice what she preaches?  If so, I wouldn’t shake hands with her.

*And now a Twixt commercial consistently and in all it’s variations, condones lying and infidelity.  Caught with your pants down?  Caught lying?  Caught by your spouse getting a message from your girl friend?  Eat a Twixt to give you a moment to come up with a flimsy excuse.

*By the way, if you purchased a 1933 Double Eagle clad proof for $23.95 when gold was $800 an ounce [troy], your gold would have been worth 81 cents.  With gold now at a record $1,340 per troy ounce, that same coin’s gold is worth a whopping $1.34!  Talk about investing in gold.  Stick to the real things and you’ll be in a much better position—even if you sell it off before you it hits peak value.

*World’s Best Cat Litter—made from whole kernel corn.  Does anyone believe that those two mental giants in the advertisement are really tasting cat litter?  If so, I have some building property in the modern Okefenokee Range for you.  Real cheap.  And another WBCL commercial has volunteers smelling cat urine.  Now what has that got to do with anything?  I hope WBCL pays the actors well.  I wonder what it’ll be in the number 2 commercial?

*The Elevator Speaketh – While riding my elevator down to the main floor to pick up a UPS delivery, the speaker started.  In seconds, my friend and I were listening to a telemarketing call to reduce our heating costs.  Besides the fact that by HUD regulations, heating is included in our rent, how is it that we receive a call in an elevator?  And I couldn’t shut her up.  She went on and on with her spiel.  When she took a breath, I told her this was an elevator.  It didn’t phase her.  She kept on with her marketing.  When we left the elevator, she was still spieling on.

*In the ‘yuck’ Department: does anyone else out there think that ‘post nasal drip’ sounds like the name of a new cereal?  I know.  Too much Harry Potter influence, I guess.

*I  heard recently the beginning of the NASCAR Martinsville Race.  It began with a spiritual invocation, and it led to the recitation of the Pledge of Allegiance by a group of school kids.  The kids then went on to sing the National Anthem—correctly, by the way.  Most professionals don’t know the words, the song, or the meaning.  They’re mostly neck singers anyway [instead of singing from the gut and diaphragm], and they’re just at the race with the hope of sparking their professional careers and putting their own vocal spins on the Anthem or just for publicity.  It’s too bad no other sport allows such normal American expressions.  They’re all worried about ACLU and Liberal critics.  So much for freedom of speech.

*I wondered about the new card seller, Moon Pig.  I suppose the powers-that-be think it’s sales idea is funny and modern.  Nope on both accounts.  It’s just another attempt to make a profit by misleading the buyer by not saying things.  These cards may be easy for the ‘active’ or ‘bored’ individual, but they are very impersonal.  Everything’s printed, and of course, the buyer has no opportunity to write anything personal or even sign the card.  Emailed cards aren’t any better.  Remember: anything entered into the Internet never goes away.  So that should warn you about anything personal in the cards.

The cards are $3.99 to $7.99 plus, depending on size.  I visited the site and looked around.  Maybe I’m getting old, but I didn’t find much real humor in their humorous cards.  Some were dumb, some were insulting, and some made little sense.  For the ‘Saints’ category: St Patrick; Ireland; almost all about drinking; St George, St David, and St Andrew: secular.

The Christmas cards are invariably secular.  A few, under the category of traditional design, show some Saints and the Virgin Mother, but they either have ‘Season’s Greetings’ or nothing on the card.  As per the site’s reason for being, you have to supply the sentiment.

All in all, though, there are a few good cards.  But I doubt I’ll be using this impersonal site for cards.  I don’t even think those e-cards are quite the choice either.  Take the time to go out and buy one.  Buy a few.  My Uncle John’s sister, Sophie, used to keep a pile of them in her dresser drawer along with many small gifts all wrapped up.  When you visited, if there was a birthday or anniversary to celebrate, Aunt Sophie had just the thing, leading you to believe that she bought it just for you.

*Want younger-looking eyes?  Want to be in the Hydrolyze test?  An offer that will last only 24 hours?  Don’t worry too much about it.  The same commercial has been running for weeks.  That’s a lot of 24 hour periods, isn’t it?  Besides, it isn’t free.  You’ll get charged for something, probably the infamous ‘shipping and handling’ or ‘separate processing fee.’  In any case, the company makes a profit with the S&H or SPFee.  They don’t lose a penny.  This is just a selling ploy.  It’s not like the jar contains molten gold or anything.  It probably cost 50 cents to make.

Or you could try Instant Effect, as long as you have a credit card number to give them for security.  With IE, you must act within five minutes of the start of the commercial.  This commercial also gets countless showings.

Where’s the Beef? – When You Need It?

*Some people want to know why I criticize the Democrats/Liberals and Obama all the time.  Hey!  It’s not like it’s a mission in life.  I’d rather sit around and read Westerns.  Sadly, though, we have a media that sits in the corner with the Democrats/Liberals and Obama and won’t report the truth.  Not enough Conservative writers are available to the general public, so I add what I can.  And it’s not so much criticizing as it is airing the truth about what is happening and what our representatives are up to.  These guys are transparent all right.  You can see straight through their lies, phony boasts, anti-Americanism, and utter incompetency.  I’m not a loud voice, but I try always to write the truth about what’s happening.  As did Clara Peller, I just want to ask:  ‘Where’s the beef?’

*When the Democrats concoct a bill and name it a ‘reform’ bill, you can be sure it isn’t.  The proof is not in the packaging or labeling, it’s in the action.  Nothing the Dems consider will ever be done if it hurts their own pockets [or those of the special interests they usually rail against or share a bed with---Unions, Muslims, the Liberal media, Government Motors] or goes contrary to picking the pockets of the American citizens.  Once they tax and charge and fee and penalize the populace equal to its entire income, then what?  It seems that’s the only way to stop the Liberals, though they’d still borrow to fund even more ‘reform’—and blame it on the Republicans, is to get rid of them.  Any people out there who vote Democrat deserve the mess, but the rest of us don’t.  Let’s go November!

*According to Assistant Secretary of State for the Bureau of Democracy, Human Rights and Labor [as seen through the eyes of leftist?] Michael Posner: “…we have to deal with issues of discrimination or potential discrimination…”  I guess that means that Hispanics [legal and illegal] and blacks will be favored everywhere just because of their race, and the ‘possibility’ of discrimination somewhere or sometime.  Never mind the majority of Americans from Ireland, Italy, Great Britain, France, Germany, Thailand, China, Japan etc.—or even the Indian {American and Asian] populations.  The majority of Americans are the ones being discriminated against these days.  Never mind need, decide things based on race so you can’t be called a racist.  And be sure to kowtow to Muslims in America [who train terrorists, condemn America, and threaten free speech] to show how tolerant you are of the intolerant, misogynistic ‘religion of peace’—the latter being a misnomer if there ever was one.  Like the old joke, it’s a matter of ‘piece’, as in ‘a piece of this and a piece of that’ until even the left is locked out.  How do like them apples, Mr Posner?  Or should we call you an American apologist first and an American citizen second?

* Isn’t there a federal law against willfully damaging an antique in the public trust?

What kind of desk does the President sit behind in the Oval Office?  It’s the Resolute Desk, a gift from Queen Victoria to President Rutherford B Hayes in 1880—that’s 130 years ago folks!  Most Presidents have used it—whether in the Oval Office or their private studies—with the exception of Lyndon Johnson, Richard Nixon, and Gerald Ford.  I don’t know what they used, but I’m sure it wasn’t orange crates.

HMS Resolution was a British ship of the Edward Belcher expedition looking for the Northwest passage.  It became stuck and was abandoned in the ice—later found near Baffin Bay by the American whaler George Henry—James Buddington commanding.  The US bought her, refitted her, and presented her to Queen Victoria on December 17, 1856 as a symbol of peace.

Years later, when it was broken up, the British Government had at least two desks made from the timbers of the Resolute by the cabinet makers at the Joiner’s Shop of Chatham Dockyard.  In 1880, they sent one—a partner’s desk—to President Rutherford B Hayes as a thank you for rescuing and refitting HMS Resolute and returning it to Great Britain in 1856.

In any case, the Desk is an honored and valuable antique, a National treasure, and some say ‘an icon of the Presidency.’  For the most part, Presidents have treated it and the oval office with the respect due them.  Until President Clinton and the latest fraud that is.  Clinton used the Oval Office for his sexual trysts.  Obama uses it as a lounge.  [He routinely sits back in his chair with shod feet up on top of the desk.]

Can you think of any good reason why a servant of the people should treat American property and tradition as he does?  Not only that, but he trashes the spirit, the sense of honor, the American economy, the American people, and the Constitution with impunity.  He tries to socialize, Islam-a-size, and Communist-a-size the Country while defanging its defense and kowtowing to foreign potentates.  You guys who voted for him should be hung up by your nose hairs.  This President is a disgrace and insult to the American people.

*Felicity Cloake [UK Daily Mail, August 11, 2010] says:  “The UN is considering strategies to cut levels of meat consumption worldwide [and replace the protein with---grubs and bugs?---] as part of its commitment to stamp out famine and cut global warming.”  Sure, shut down the production tasty and acceptable meat, which is a basic protein, and replace the loss with bugs?  Does anyone have any idea how many jobs would be lost?  It’s not like people can be retrained to run ‘bug farms.’  Has anyone tested for bug flatulence lately?  And who will take care of the cattle and horses thus unemployed?  This is simply another inane idea from the leftist UN which still believes in man-made global warming.  Does anyone think the UN officials are going to serve bugs at their state dinners?  They should set an example you know.

*According to Newsmax.com on August 16: “A Hamas leader says Muslims ‘have to build’ a mosque near ground zero.”  At last.  Somebody agrees with Obama.  He should be proud.

*As reported by CNS: “Republican Sen. Lindsey Graham of South Carolina said that Jesus’s Golden Rule inspired him to vote to confirm Elena Kagan to the U.S. Supreme Court” – This is another example of my losing respect and confidence in Lindsay Graham. He is proving to be a dangerous RINO, and he needs to go. Besides, the ‘golden rule’ is not even appropriate for the situation. If he needs a bible quote, how about this one: “Don’t you know that you yourselves are God’s temple and that God’s Spirit lives in you? If anyone destroys God’s temple, God will destroy him; for God’s temple is sacred, and you are that temple. 1 Corinthians 3 v 16-17″  Kagan believes in abortion as a good thing guaranteed by the Constitution [it isn't---and it isn't a right in the moral sense either.] She should never have been voted in. What the Country needs is another sane voice in the Supreme Court, not another John Paul Stevens. Since Graham doesn’t understand this, then he should be given the heave-ho!

*USA Today reports:  “…Designed to thwart the reproduction, raising and sale of sick, deformed or otherwise less-than-healthy pets…lemon laws are more and more being used…[in re pets; to help recoup losses]…Because there’s almost nothing worse than investing your emotions in a “perfect” puppy or kitten only to learn that it suffers from a debilitating, life-altering — or even deadly — disease.”  [Sound familiar?]  So you get your money back.  But what happens to the lemon-lawed pets?  Are they destroyed?  Of course.  This is the whole idea.  Perfect or else.  Animal euthanasia is easy entry into the same for people.  Just ask our seniors who are having Medicare cuts and less than reasonable treatment under the new health plan.  Will lemon laws now migrate into the abortion debate?  Will we be suing doctors for delivering less-than-perfect children?  Will we then put them asleep—all as an extension of the spurious ‘right’ of abortion?  You people who support killing babies are going to rue your words, votes, and positions more and more.

*Per the Washington Examiner of May 29:  “Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi, D-Calif., blamed the Bush administration for any lack of oversight leading up to the Gulf oil spill.”  Per Fox News on August 13:  “Embattled Rep. Maxine Waters on Friday blamed the Bush administration for her ethics problems.”  Per the Personal Liberty Digest of August 18: “During a 90-minute press conference, Representative Maxine Waters vehemently denied breaking House conflict-of-interest regulations by allegedly helping garner Federal support for a troubled bank that had close ties to her husband.”

Per the Des Moines Register July 26 in re the Obama Stimulus money:  “Goldman Sachs sent $4.3 billion in federal tax money to 32 entities, including many overseas banks, hedge funds and pensions, according to information made public…” Per the Wall Street Journal August 2: “…Obama is attempting to blame the [Bush and the] GOP for the U.S. economy’s current woes…”  Per The Hill on May 25: “Sen. Chris Dodd (D-Conn.) on Tuesday said partial blame for the massive oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico lies with the Bush administration.”  Per the Daily Caller on February 6: “…Faced with mounting national opposition to his party’s platform, the President reminded voters the real reason the trillion-dollar stimulus package still hasn’t reduced unemployment to 8 percent as promised: Bush did it, and it’ll take a lot of time to undo it.”

President Bush and his administration have been gone for some 19 months.  At what point do Obama and the Congress [collective or individually] start taking the heat for their own actions in making a bad situation worse, fanning the flames, adding more fuel to the flames.  When the House collapses or burns down, perhaps taking the incompetent Obama with it, will we continue to hear forever the his vocal:  “I didn’t do it with my little burned match sticks!  Bush did it! Bush did it!—echoed by the dead and buried Pelosi and Reid and Frank and Dodd ad infinitum.

*It’s time to tell the World we can’t support them anymore.  All the socialist, communist, and otherwise poorly run countries are going to have to fend for themselves for two or three years.  Anyone asking for help thereafter is going to have to prove the need and the fact that it isn’t going to waste it on banana governments.  We will still be willing to buy goods at fair prices to help those growing countries shed their banana images.